


dauntless

by saccharineflower (orphan_account)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst?, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pre-wedding meeting, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 06:10:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20335393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/saccharineflower
Summary: As Baekhyun thumbs some glitters on the card, he wonders if he can erase Kyungsoo's name instead.





	dauntless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [506daysofsummer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/506daysofsummer/gifts).

> This is for y'all hoes but like, 50% for a friend heh Miss Y, this is for you bich 🙃

The feeling of the cup's wet rim slides onto Baekhyun's thumb. He lets the skin rubs the thin edge of the ceramic, feeling a little bit of friction from it.

He sighs and looks at the gold wristwatch nesting on his left wrist, watching the long hand ticking every second. He stares for eight seconds, and he knows the time only because he's counting the ticking of the clock in his mind.

When the door chimes, he perks up from his seat; neck craning only to see a woman in pastel looking coat that's much more pastel shade than the whole pastry shop.

He watches as the woman saunters towards the counter, and Baekhyun slumps down at his cushioned seat, feeling the embossed designs of the seat's frame digging through his sienna coat. It doesn't hurt, and the pastry shop trying to be grandeur is doing a good job.

Baekhyun's attention shifts to the table, a bit elongated, though still considered square, the edges similar to the cushioned seat's frame; a bit golden with designs that are too over zealous.

He looks outside, and sees the people in their coats, some darker and some baby shades. The stems are sprouting lighter leaves even if the weather is getting colder these days. Baekhyun tucks his coat tighter to his frame, as if he can feel the cold just by looking at the street and the foggy surrounding.

This time, when the front door of the pastry shop opens, he doesn't notice as he's still staring at the view.

He just snaps out of his sight seeing when someone knocks on the table, and there he is, Kyungsoo smiling but not at him; the younger looking and talking to a garçon who's busy writing and nodding to whatever Kyungsoo is saying.

Baekhyun is just an ear shot away, he can clearly hear the words and he even heard Kyungsoo mentioning macaroon before the garçon smiles and walk away.

Baekhyun doesn't pay attention too much at the server, his eyes only trained to Kyungsoo who takes the seat now across him.

"How are you?" Kyungsoo asks, but he's not looking at him. The other is typing furiously on his phone, giving Baekhyun half of his attention and he should be offended, but he's not.

He can't be offended when Kyungsoo puts his phone inside the confine of his coat pocket and now looking at him completely, a serene smile in his face.

He can't be offended even if he can clearly see how clean and fresh Kyungsoo looks right now, with his longer but still soft hair, his white turtle neck and the cream coat; Kyungsoo looks like downright angel.

The pastry shop is not helping either, from the tuscany shades of the whole place and the warm but elegant view of it, it seems like a heavenly, pure background of Kyungsoo's much more pure frame.

"Fine. Doing hella fine," Baekhyun finds himself saying and crosses his arms over his chest. He tucks his hands in between his arm and sides, feeling the warmth of his underarm transferring to his hands.

Kyungsoo then lets out a laugh, a chortle with a little bit of huff at the edge of that merry sound, and Baekhyun clenches his hands into fists, his curled palms hiding in the vicinity just near under his underarm.

"I'm glad," The younger then says, smile still in his face as he looks down at the table before looking at Baekhyun again.

Baekhyun unclench his palms and detach them from their hiding place, clasping his palms now together. Kyungsoo mimics the action, but curls his fingers and his back is straighter than Baekhyun's.

"Why do you want to meet me? As far as I know, former lovers only meet because of reconciliation," he dares, his tone a bit teasing and challenging. Baekhyun baskins at the laugh Kyungsoo lets out.

This time, it's shyer, more pure and meant no harm nor false hope. Baekhyun smiles bitterly at that.

"You know _why_.." Kyungsoo whispers with another laugh, airy and Baekhyun wonders if it's because Kyungsoo's nervous. His laugh always tend to get airy and puffy when he's nervous.

Kyungsoo tilts his body to his side, rummaging at the cream leather bag and Baekhyun watches as Kyungsoo struggles to get the thing he wants to pull out.

He snorts when Kyungsoo ends up putting his bag on the table just in time for the garçon coming back carrying a salver with plate of macaroons and a cup of tea. Kyungsoo pulls the bag to his chest sheepishly as the server puts the plate a bit near Baekhyun's side, the server must've seen Kyungsoo about to put his bag on top of the table.

The garçon greets them and Kyungsoo bows while Baekhyun settles for a nod, his attention shifting to Kyungsoo again just in time Kyungsoo huffing while taking off his leather gloves.

And Baekhyun, he's just not ready to see the platinum band on Kyungsoo's ring finger, hidden from the gloves earlier. The latter's stubby fingers look slender now, his nails no longer looking like chainsaw from biting, and Baekhyun merely wonder how nice the man is to make Kyungsoo stop biting his fingernails; a habit that never left Kyungsoo's system even after college.

"Aha!" Kyungsoo exclaims with a little beam, pulling of a thick card in beige and gray. The other then gestures the card towards him, and when Baekhyun doesn't relents, Kyungsoo urges him by pushing it more forward, and Baekhyun lets out a chuckle as he takes the card.

"I designed it," Kyungsoo informs happily, his eyes shifting from the card to Baekhyun's face in case the elder gives a reaction.

Baekhyun smiles, serene and happy, his thumb touching the glittery name of Kyungsoo's in shade of gray, the print not looking all too silver but flat glittery. It's pretty. So pretty. It fits Kyungsoo's name.

"It's pretty." He says, and sends Kyungsoo a look with a wide smile.

Kyungsoo shrugs. "Of course. I'll only get married _thrice_."

"Thrice?" Baekhyun cocks an eyebrow to the other, his heart doing some somersaults when Kyungsoo, of all things, smiles shyly with a bit of scoff there.

"Yeah. Once this year, and then another one after 25 years. And then another one, if we passed 50 years, of course." Kyungsoo says with a little laugh there.

Baekhyun looks down when Kyungsoo bites down on his lower lip, seemingly shy but happy. And Baekhyun is happy for him, but he's not that happy to see Kyungsoo fawning over someone that he barely know.

"What a news you gave me after seven years, huh?" He jokes. He thumbs the name in shiny gray again, feeling the thick paper in his fingers.

"Yeah. It's been seven years, huh?" Kyungsoo retorts. Baekhyun looks up to say something, but he caught something with his eyes instead.

It's like the Kyungsoo from minute ago fades, replaced by another soft looking Kyungsoo, but looking more mature now with that familiar amicable smile.

"Hm," he hums, his thumb still caressing the printed name. He detach his thumb and looks to see if there's glitters in his thumb, surprised to see there is, sort of and only visible when it hits a sun light. Sitting beside the window gives a way for Baekhyun to inspect the almost non glitter in his thumb.

He wonders if he can erase Kyungsoo's name, instead. Baekhyun shakes his head then, because that kind of thought only entertain younger Baekhyun. But not the present Baekhyun. Not him.

"Are you happy?" He says suddenly, and he doesn't know if it's because he wants to know or because he can't think of words to say. But he immediately regrets it despite the smile that graces Kyungsoo's lips.

He doesn't have the rights to ask such question. Never. If he did make Kyungsoo happy, then maybe he has the rights to. But he knows better than anyone that he had hurt him, he had hurt Kyungsoo and shuttered his once happy life.

So he _doesn't_ have the rights to ask him if someone else makes him happy.

"Yes. I _am_," Kyungsoo whispers still, answering a question Baekhyun is not sure he wants to hear the answer to. "He makes me happy."

And Kyungsoo nods, agreeing to his own answer to himself, his cheeks tinting a little bit and Baekhyun knows Kyungsoo is convincing himself, but not out of hesitation.

The way Kyungsoo nods, it's like he still can't believe that he has a dream like life now. Something that Baekhyun once gave him but failed to maintain.

And Baekhyun wonders, he wonders if Kyungsoo is this happy, then he can ask Kyungsoo more questions, right? Questions he's not sure he wants to know the answer to, but still questions that Baekhyun wants to ask.

He watches Kyungsoo sipping his tea, his lips touching the rim of the ceramic and Baekhyun wonders if the tea will turn pink or something psychedelic because of those lips, those magical lips that brings unnamed reality.

When Kyungsoo hums after a sip, Baekhyun made up his mind. As Kyungsoo puts the cup down on the saucer, Baekhyun feels dauntless.

And before Kyungsoo can reach out for the cube of sweetener, his mouth work than his brain.

"Say, Kyungsoo, have you ever regret leaving me?" He asks, making the man in question halts from touching the artificial glucose.

Kyungsoo stares at him, a little dumbfounded; and Baekhyun tilts his head aside with a teasing smile in his lips to show that this question is just, well, a question.

It doesn't mean anything, doesn't meant no harm.

The younger takes on to Baekhyun's antics, smiling at the sly smile on his lips.

"Well, I kind of. There were times I was tempted to go back and take you." Kyungsoo answers with a shrug.

Baekhyun wants to ask '_So why you didn't?_' but the grimace that makes its way to Kyungsoo's face stops him.

"What I regret is not leaving you earlier."

And at that, Baekhyun smiles. He smiles as if it will shield his heart from Kyungsoo's poisonous arrows of words. He smiles to convey that it is fine talking about it.

"I really did hurt you, huh?" He says almost inaudible. Kyungsoo then shrugs, a little smile still in his lips.

Baekhyun tries not to get hurt a little more at the fact that Kyungsoo's smiling while talking about their past with no trace of grudge and sadness. He's hurt, but what can he say when he's also showcasing a smile, though a fake one?

"If being left behind because of dream and not being trusted that a relationship would work, if being treated as a distraction rather than a inspiration is painful, then yes. Yes, it did hurt me." Kyungsoo whispers out, his index finger touching the half empty cup of tea now, very much like Baekhyun earlier. "You pushed me away. I went to Tokyo to take you back. But then I realized I'm no chaser, Baek."

Kyungsoo finishes his line with a smile, and Baekhyun deludes himself for a moment when his nickname left Kyungsoo's smiling lips.

"But I'm thankful. Because you taught me to be brave, to be persistent. You pushed me to my limits, made me do things I thought I was not capable of doing so. So, thank you. Really." The last words were whispered with too much emotion, too much gratefulness.

Baekhyun nods, the other's words still registering in his mind as he looks down with a smile.

"I was right. This is a closure talk before getting tied down." He jokes, only to make the sadness around them dissipate. And Kyungsoo, the always sagacious Kyungsoo, laughs at that and leans forward to reach for the plate of macaroons near Baekhyun.

He's expecting for Kyungsoo to take or pull the plate in the middle, but Kyungsoo only reached for the macaroon, and Baekhyun heaves a sigh.

He suddenly remember those times when Kyungsoo used to steal food in his plate. When Kyungsoo used to sip on his cola even if Kyungsoo has his sprite already, lukewarm on the younger's grip.

He remembers when Kyungsoo used to steal kisses to his cheeks. When Kyungsoo used to steal kisses to his lips.

As he watches Kyungsoo leaning back on the cushioned chair, he remembers how Kyungsoo used to steal his breath away.

He's till good at it, because the longer he watch Kyungsoo munching on his favorite blueberry macaroon, his chest feels like bursting from too much feelings.

Because the longer he watch Kyungsoo taking little bites from the pastry, Baekhyun feels like Kyungsoo's biting off every little parts of his sanity and heart.

He looks at the card again, and briefly looks at Kyungsoo's left hand where a platinum band is nesting. And even if Baekhyun tries to blink, the band doesn't disappear. It doesn't go, it's still there.

It's taunting, and Baekhyun's mind is suddenly reeling from the sound of words that had been spoken years ago.

** _"If you love me, let's work this out. Parting is not a solution."_ **

The words ring inside his brain as he watch Kyungsoo pulling out his phone.

When he hears the younger letting out a snort, Baekhyun knows, right there and then, that the past will remain as past.

That him choosing his dream and a assured future over Kyungsoo is something he did for himself. He deluded himself that it's for Kyungsoo's safety. So the other won't get hurt furthermore.

But Baekhyun knows that it was to save himself from the hassle of heartbreak. That even before he breaks his own heart, he should end everything before things get tangled and hard to discard.

When Kyungsoo smiles while staring at his phone, it's when Baekhyun nods to himself internally, knowing that it's better for Kyungsoo to be with someone else.

Besides, why is he even thinking about it? He's the only one here contemplating over their past selves. Kyungsoo went here with absolute mean and reason, his purpose is to give him the damn pretty wedding invitation card. And him? He's just no one now from Kyungsoo's past, a chapter that Kyungsoo turned pages off from long time ago.

It's only him who thinks of past, and he should stop now.

He should leave, too, because he doesn't want to see Kyungsoo leaving first. Baekhyun wants to laugh at the irony.

Here he is being a coward again, escaping heartache before Kyungsoo can hurt him furthermore.

He's about to tell the other that he has to go, but Kyungsoo turns to him now, a happy smile in his lips.

"Should we go now?" Kyungsoo asks, now typing on his phone again.

Something clicks in Baekhyun's logical mind that makes him scoff to himself.

"Is that the groom-to-be?" He asks, sounding nonchalant but trying to peak at the conversation but he can't see that much from the position.

"Yeah," Kyungsoo's simple answer with a laugh. "It's Jongin."

Baekhyun grimaces and Kyungsoo laughs at the expression. He dodge when Kyungsoo tries to throw a tissue paper at him.

"Is he some kind of jealous guy that he has to text you from time to time because you're with your ex boyfriend right at the moment?" He scoffs and takes a sip of his now lukewarm coffee, taking a bite of some mint green looking macaroon.

"Nope," Kyungsoo drawls out, scrolling through his phone. "He was actually outside the whole time we're talking."

Baekhyun chews on his pastry slower now.

"Oh?" He drawls back.

"Yep," Kyungsoo answers and pockets his phone back now.

Baekhyun gulps his pastry at the sound of Kyungsoo zippering his bag.

_So, it's the end_, he thinks more to himself.

"We're going somewhere. So yeah, I don't want to commute when he can just wait for some moments." Kyungsoo adds on.

'_Some moments_,' Kyungsoo said. Baekhyun smiles bitterly at the words. Kyungsoo really intended this talk to be short and final. A real definition of closure.

No talks about the past. No talks about the present. No talks of scheduling next meetings. Just pure closure.

"Let's go." He says. He stands up the same time Kyungsoo does, smiling at the smaller when he sees him struggling with the heavy chair.

When he's sure he's ready to go out, he walks pass Kyungsoo, assuming the other is going to just follow him.

But to his surprise, Kyungsoo latches to his side, the latter's hand curling to Baekhyun's coat cladded bicep.

"Let's go!" Kyungsoo beams at him, looking up at him with such happiness and this Kyungsoo looks so different from the seven years ago Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo's happiness then is made out of false happiness, false hope if a future with Baekhyun. Right now, he looks really happy.

_Genuinely_ happy.

Baekhyun smiles down at the younger, shrugging his shoulder, and they off to go.

Baekhyun's still feeling happy at the sight of Kyungsoo's hair bobbing, looking so soft and all, when suddenly, Kyungsoo grips his bicep tighter as they walk out of the pastry shop.

He frowns at the gesture, and still confused when Kyungsoo tugs him towards a certain path.

It's when he looks ahead at where Kyungsoo is walking, that he sees a man in burnt brown turtle neck tucked in gray slacks, a darker gray coat drape over his shoulders, that he comes to conclusion that this is Jongin.

_The_ Kim Jongin.

And Jongdae was not lying when the latter said he's ready to drop Kyungsoo as a friend if he gets a chance to take that man, because he sees it _himself_.

The man, Jongin, is like a model, freshly cut out from some expensive magazine, even if he's wearing a ridiculous shoes with thick welts and some stylish specs.

And Baekhyun has some conclusion in his mind that maybe this guy is just all looks, even though his conclusion meant for Kyungsoo as a shallow person marrying a person for their looks; if only to kill the gnawing envy residing inside his chest.

But that conclusion comes to an end when Jongin waves, smiling to both of them, like Kyungsoo is not literally looking like a leech to a former lover.

"Sorry, we took too long," Kyungsoo tells the taller man, and Baekhyun wants to laugh because he can dare say that that talk with Kyungsoo was the shortest time of all, in his entire life. It's like a blink of an eye and Baekhyun wants to sleep for some days more.

"It's fine," Jongin says, and then turns to him.

Baekhyun stops himself from reaching out when Kyungsoo detach himself from his side in opt to stand beside Jongin. He gulps a whimper when Kyungsoo takes the coat draping over Jongin's shoulder with a snort.

"This is Baekhyun. You know him," Kyungsoo tells Jongin, the latter leaning down a bit to Kyungsoo's side, as if to hear him better. As if to regard his thought better.

Baekhyun hates it. Because Kim Jongin is actually nice.

"Yeah. Architect Byun from Park Empire," Jongin says with a smile that produces a dimple on his cheek, almost like a two centimetre length line of dimple on his cheek.

Baekhyun hates him a little more.

"Yeah. That's me," he replies then coolly, giving a salute that makes Jongin laugh. It's.. _playful_. Almost _childlike_.

It's meant to swept someone on their feet. And Baekhyun sees it, when Kyungsoo stares up at the other; his lips sealed by biting them, like suppressing a wide smile.

"It's nice to meet you," Jongin then says and offers a hand, his face still looking happy and grateful, and he wanders if this man is some kind of actor, too.

He seems too happy facing a former lover of a fiancé. He has to be some good actor, or he's just really a nice man, perfect for Kyungsoo.

"Likewise," he says and accepts the man's hand. He'd ready himself to get his hand squeezed, but he just got more frustrated when Jongin shakes his hand rather friendly than amicably.

"I guess, it's time for me to go, soon to be newly weds," he teases, only to see Kyungsoo laugh and to heal his frowning heart.

"Okay," Kyungsoo agrees. And reaches a hand for him to take.

Baekhyun sends Jongin a look, and tries to see if the other will suddenly punch him.

But there's no remorse, in fact Jongin even pushes Kyungsoo softly towards him, and he accepts the embrace from his former lover, a lover he still yearns for.

He looks at Jongin, and sees him smiling at them, more to Kyungsoo's frame, like he's happy for Kyungsoo to get that closure.

And Baekhyun can see that it's not because of the fact that his past with Kyungsoo will remain past, over now. He can see a smile, genuinely happy for Kyungsoo.

He hopes he's that perfect for Kyungsoo, too.

He leans back and Kyungsoo goes back to Jongin's side now, and he tries not to stare to much at the way Kyungsoo curls his arm over Jongin's bicep, a bit clingier than the one Kyungsoo did to him just now.

Kyungsoo's practically hugging now the other's arm, and Jongin doesn't look annoyed. If anything, he leans down a bit to accommodate Kyungsoo's height.

"Safe ride, if you're not walking home, that is," Kyungsoo says, probably last one.

Baekhyun settles for a wave, and a pat to Jongin's shoulder. Jongin smiles in exchange and pats his forearm, and Baekhyun hates it. He hates it.

But he still watch as Jongin leads Kyungsoo to a nice car, and he watches as Kyungsoo opens the car door for himself, though Jongin is still holding onto Kyungsoo's lower back.

Great. This man doesn't see Kyungsoo as some fragile doll. Baekhyun loathes it. But that's just it. He can't do anything now.

He watches as Jongin leans back to the backrest of driver's seat as Kyungsoo buckles him up, the taller laughing at something Kyungsoo is saying.

When the car drives off after the two wave at him, Baekhyun's mind wanders. He wonders what Kyungsoo told Jongin.

Is he scolding him for forgetting to buckle his seatbelt? Because Kyungsoo was frowning and looking stern.

Baekhyun sighs and looks up at the sky.

He closes his eyes, and wonders if his latest purchased suit will do. Maybe, he needs to buy a new one.

He contemplates over a bowtie or necktie as he makes his way towards his own car.

He contemplates too what brand of cheap wine he can purchase along with some expensive suit.


End file.
